2/9/2008
                 Earlier this week, former Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney, announced his withdrawal from the presidential race. We warned last week of a planned attack against the Republican candidate by Ninjas on Hillary’s payroll.  It seems the warnings came too late.
    “He had no chance,” says Paranormal Ninja expert Bole Shmitt, “they got him as he exited his car last Sunday. The [Ninjpreens] approached him in his driveway posing as Deacons collecting for his church.”
    Mr. Shmitt says that attempts were made to get the message to Mitt so that he could take precautions to avoid such an incident, however, due to email problems, and a break in the chain of command in his own campaign, the messages were never received.
    Again Mr. Shmitt declined to go into detail on any plans Hillary might have in store for Barack Obama. He did however have a few words of caution.
    “We know Barack’s love of Thin Mint cookies, but this year he may be wise to go without.”
    Shmitt advised that Obama not answer the door, no matter how innocent the solicitors seemed to appear.